Saturday, June 27, 2015

In the natural order of things, it's Saturday again. I am thankful and blessed.


Last Saturday, I picked these ripe blueberries and left the others right where they are on the bush so that they would have the chance to ripen. That's the natural order of things.

Right now I'm going through what could be seen as an unnatural order of things:
  • March 7 discovering cancer in my body after the appearance of a surprising symptom
  • April 24 having a hysterectomy because the diagnosis pointed with certainty at cancer and afterward thinking that the result of said surgery meant it highly unlikely that I would require further treatment, just close monitoring
  • May 21 having a baseline CT scan to use in that close monitoring which revealed a blip in expectations
  • May 29 being told that the blip meant a needle biopsy and that the results of that could warrant a change in plans
  • June 1, after recovering slowly but surely, returning to my job that I thoroughly enjoy, do well, and am appreciated and enjoyed at, where I work with adorable, wonderful, smart, kind human beings who care about not only themselves and their families, but also about our community and its citizens
  • June 1 through June 23, striving to eat right and walk more
  • June 17 having a needle biopsy to get a closer look at the blip seen on the CT scan
  • June 18 getting a call about what turned out to be tissues suspicious for cancer in the blip and agreeing to have an appointment at 2 p.m. the next day with Dr. Steiner and tentatively to have a second operation on June 25, realizing at that very moment that I'd need to spend what I thought would be each of the three days at the beginning of the week before the surgery on Thursday training someone at work to do what I do that no one else does
  • June 19 spending two hours engulfed in a whirlwind of information with Dr. Steiner and Lamont during which we discussed so much that I felt like I'd been on a twirly, swirly ride at the state fair, plus finding out that I would not be at work on June 24 because I would be involved with clear liquids and a laxative to get ready for the surgery the next day AND that it looks rather certain that radiation and chemotherapy are also in my future
  • June 22 and June 23 sharing with a quick, smart young man at work who paid great attention to everything about the job he will do for me until I return, set for August 10 right now, and realizing that I have nothing to worry about because he will do it well, along with the help of others at work who know parts of the process; we in the admin area support each other wholeheartedly because we realize without a doubt that what we do supports those who directly serve the citizens of our community
  • June 24 following all directions to the letter for the pre-op routines, including patting myself all over one hour after I had showered and washed my hair with these man-made tissues saturated with antiseptic to help my skin be as ready as possible to be invaded during surgery and not have on it as the incisions were made something bad for my health
  • June 24 and June 25 going without solid food, period, but still managing to enjoy Jell-O and Popsicles and Twinings English Breakfast tea
  • June 25 being prepped for surgery by swell women and men, then being rolled into the operating room where I saw the robot and the station where Dr. Steiner would sit to guide the robot through its paces with me--that robot is all arms, y'all, multi-functional arms, no doubt; then eventually looking toward the window of my hospital room and realizing my sons were there in silhouette along with my friend Sharon from work. The best thing, I never even knew that scary-panic-inducing oxygen mask from the hysterectomy was any where near me!
  • June 25, at some point late after the surgery and the recovery room, when I had come to enough to ask for them and hold them and eat them, I enjoyed more Popsicles and Jell-o in my room
  • June 26, about 2:30 a.m., although who knows for certain since my grasp of time within my memory is skewed right now, learning from my nurse how to use the computerized Order Food link on the touch screen hanging in front of me so that I could order breakfast from the regular diet menu, and a morning snack and lunch, an afternoon snack and dinner (although I call this supper)
  • June 26 eating what I could of what I'd chosen
  • June 26 being able to get up and go to the bathroom once the catheter had been removed and sit in the chair instead of the bed
  • June 26 once I stood up off the bed realizing I'm pretty certain that I now know how folks who've been stabbed in the abdomen must feel the day after having their wounds stitched shut and being so thankful for Ibuprofen 600
  • June 26 talking with one of Dr. Steiner's partners who said the main thing now is to get to the point that I can empty my own bladder the way that the Good Lord intended so that I wouldn't have to learn how to self-cath at home! and to recover from the surgery! and to learn at the post-op appointment on July 8 what the pathology reveals and what the plan of action includes, such as radiation and chemotherapy.
  • June 26 walking the triangle outside my door which is the convenient shape of the hallway in the surgery patient area; I had a walker with wheels on its two front legs which I held onto, tilted, and rolled in front of me; I didn't like how it vibrated into my hands if I kept the wheel-less back legs on the floor
  • June 26 finally drinking enough water to get myself back to normal operation in the bathroom, hallelujah! I don't have to learn how to self-cath!
  • June 26 learning from one of the multitude of fabulous nurses that I now for the next 14 days will have to give myself a shot in the stomach to ward off the possibility of deep vein thrombosis and/or pulmonary embolism
  • June 26 waiting for the wheelchair to take me to the door so that I could go home. 
  • June 26 and until July 8, it looks like: Lamont explained to me yesterday, more than once, and Leland just explained to me again that Dr. Steiner said this to the two of them in the consultation room after the surgery was completed: The pathology tests have to be run so that the results will be known once they are complete. It's won't be something that she wants to discuss over the phone, that she wants me in the office with her to go over it, that if an earlier appointment opens up, they will let me know. She'd left markers inside me so that radiation oncology would know where to point whatever, that what she found inside me was somewhat unexpected - it wasn't in or attached to the lymph node as she had expected so this is throwing up flags to her that we should go ahead with radiation and chemo and what was going on with me wasn't following the statistics of normal, whatever that means. I believe that hearing the news straight from Dr. Steiner is best because I can look her in the eye and process what she's telling me.
Yes, that's the unnatural order of things. But, and I truly believe this, woven into it, through its shock, pain, aggravation, are-you-kidding-me moments are the some of the most sublime natural order of things I've witnessed in my entire life.
  • My sons Lamont and Leland and their caring, sweet smiles, their loving hearts, their great memories for details, their patience to explain the same thing to me over and over again because I'm confused right now; the way every single day they live the evidence of their monumental Daddy right in front of me.
  • My family and friends contacting me by myriad means, letting me know from their hearts how much they love me and care about what's going on with me and how much they are praying for the best possible outcome. 
  • Yes, Gunn in Stavanger, Norway, I had surely done at each opportunity what you wrote in your comment on yesterday's post: You must tell your doctors and nurses that you have people ALL OVER THE WORLD who follow you and your blog, and we pray, wish you the best treatment and that they have to do their very best!!
  • My awe-inspiring medical professionals whose every desire is for me to have the best outcome possible, be that from surgery, pain pills, walking the hallway, understanding what's going on with my treatment, why I have to do all of these things to myself. Best explanation for all that I'm going through, period, from Naomi, Dr. Steiner's nurse, on June 19 as we wrapped up the pre-op appointment for my second surgery within a two-months-one-day-time-period: We are about getting you the decades that I have coming to you, Lynette.
  • My heart and soul have felt every single prayer, every single warm wish, every single bit of love and concern that all of you have for me and what I'm experiencing. And I thank you.


LuiZ FernandoS said...

Glad to know you you're home on your way to quick recovery.

William Kendall said...

It's been a chaotic year thus far for you. It's fortunate that you've got loved ones close by. Enjoy the blueberries!

Lois said...

I have said it before and I will say it again, YOU ARE AWESOME! Your strength and courage inspire me Lynette. I am continuing to pray and send good thoughts your way.

Jack said...

You have been going through a tough time, Lynette, but your positive attitude will be a big help in the march toward health.

Anonymous said...

Prayers and best wishes from across the river in the 'Couve.

Randy said...

Sending you light and love. Beautiful photo.

Birdman said...

Family, heart and soul are strong remedies for 'mountains'. Take a step today.