UPDATE: Cancer, throw what you got. You'll soon see what I've got for you!

I remembered these photos that I took years ago and decided they fit how I feel right now. Y'all know how relentless a dog will be when said dog sees a Frisbee in the hand of a person willing to wear oneself out tossing said Frisbee. That's why I picked these photos today and wrote the captions to go with them. I am willingly, relentlessly pursuing my cancer treatment. Plus, at the end of the photos, I've copied and pasted some of what Dr. Steiner had to say after our appointment this morning, along with the lengthy, stream-of-consciousness update that I put on Facebook after I had eaten lunch. Thanks again for your continued prayers, love and concern. I tell you the truth when I say that I need them.



Poised and ready. This is how I felt when I went for the hysterectomy on April 24. Pathology led us all to believe that the cancer had been contained inside the uterus and that I should be followed closely, looking for any changes that might crop up. Thank goodness Dr. Steiner ordered a baseline CT scan so that she'd have a starting point for following me closely over the next months and years. That CT scan revealed a 2.3 x 2.1 cm mass next to or part of the lymph nodes in the right pelvic area. She didn't want to wait for two months and do a follow up CT; she recommended a needle biopsy.



I had the needle biopsy on June 17. That test tossed me information that the mass was atypical suspicious for adenocarcinoma. I needed a second surgery which took place on June 25 because there was no point in waiting and watching it.



That second surgery removed the right vaginal pelvic mass which is consistent with metastatic endometrial adenocarcinoma. From the pathology report: Robotic surgery findings: on path report specimen A and C are the same tumor approximately 2 cm. On the right side of the vaginal cuff towards the cul de sac - free floating glandular nodule= metastatic endometrial adenocarcinoma. The right pelvic lymph nodes were not enlarged and were neg for malignancy 0/3. Cancer, you're caught now. A follow up plan of treatment, radiation and chemotherapy, will get you. Period.



I have my radiation oncology appointment on July 21 at 1 p.m. I'll know all about what radiation will do for me and to that cancer after this one-and-half-hour consultation. I will know when I'll have radiation, how it will make me feel, how many times I will have to have, stuff like that. I'm ready to catch it and go right on, kicking cancer outta my life.



Chemotherapy is in my future, too. I don't know the consultation appointment yet--no phone call as I ready this post. I know that they will call soon and set it up. I will then know what chemotherapy will do for me and to the cancer. I asked Dr. Steiner if I would lose my hair. "Yes," her reply. I'm ready.



This photo might make it look like my treatment is out of my control, but it's not. I know that right now I am a novice at dealing with the impact of this treatment on me, physically and mentally. But, I've read what so many of you have written about yourselves or others you love who have been through these treatments, about how they dealt with it. Thank you for sharing and for your encouragement.



You know that I'm bound and determined to handle it the best that I am able. I see myself being ready, being positive, doing all that I can to get this cancer out of me. And I'll have the help that I need from so many people who love me and care for me that I won't let the potential for success get away from me. I need y'all more than ever and thank you so much for being there for me.



Together, we'll carry this cancer off the field, out of my life.

Here's what I found online about the visit with Dr. Steiner today:

In summary, Ms. Hanson is a very lovely 67 yrs old with stage IA grade 1 endometrial adenocarcinoma with minimal invasion with lesions in her adrenal gland and right pelvic sidewall. Discussed the patient and her son Lamont that the adrenal gland is likely benign. However, the right pelvic sidewall lymph node was consistent with metastatic uterine cancer consistent with her primary. It is still well-differentiated. I discussed the case with her surgeon Dr. Barnes and there was no morcellation. I cannot explain why her well-differentiated minimally invasive uterine cancer metastasized to the right of her vaginal cuff within 2 months. We discussed that it is actually not in her lymph nodes but it is to the right of the vaginal cuff. Discussed that it was compressing her ureter but when removed the ureter appeared to normalize in caliber. There are clips to mark the tumor as it is an usual location. (Me, talking: The clips are to let the radiation oncology folks know where she found it which I am particularly pleased that she left those teensy, staple-like pieces of metal in me which will be there forever. I want that radiation point as particularly as possible.)

Discussed referral to medical oncology and radiation oncology

Here's what I put on Facebook after I got home from the doctor's office and the grocery store:

Dr. Steiner gave me the pathology report the mass she removed is consistent with metastatic endometrial adenocarcinoma. There was no malignancy in the three lymph nodes she removed. Neither Dr. Steiner nor anyone she consulted has any idea how that mass came to be in my pelvic area. She checked with the hysterectomy surgeon to find out if any cancer cells could have escaped from the uterus during that procedure; she was assured that nothing in the procedure could have caused this to happen. It does say on the pathology report that this tumor, that mass removed, resembles that seen in the hysterectomy specimen, which means it is the same kind of cancer. What it boils down to is that what is going on with me cancer-wise is unexpected, unexplainable, and rare. Therefore she recommends aggressive treatment with chemotherapy and radiation. I do not know the order of these treatments, when they will begin, or how long I will have to do them. I have already had a call from radiation oncology with an appointment set for Tuesday, July 21, at 1 PM. The consultation appointment and the treatments will be at Kaiser Interstate which is very close to where I live and work. The chemotherapy is done at that building also which is great. I will get a separate phone call from medical oncology for that appointment/consultation. Radiation oncology recommends that you have someone with you to help you listen to everything and remember it. Lamont will see if he can get off work and take me. I asked Dr. Steiner if I would lose my hair and she said yes, The chemotherapy will make that happen. Well, I've always wondered what it would be like to have really short hair at my age, now I know what it is like to have no hair. I am facing this straight on, I'm not breaking down, I'm not giving up. Thank you for every single prayer, for all of your love and concern. It does me a lot of good to read your comments and emails because doing so helps me believe that I am the person you believe me to be.

In the natural order of things, it's Saturday again. I am thankful and blessed.

Last Saturday, I picked these ripe blueberries and left the others right where they are on the bush so that they would have the chance to ripen. That's the natural order of things.

Right now I'm going through what could be seen as an unnatural order of things:

• March 7 discovering cancer in my body after the appearance of a surprising symptom
• April 24 having a hysterectomy because the diagnosis pointed with certainty at cancer and afterward thinking that the result of said surgery meant it highly unlikely that I would require further treatment, just close monitoring
• May 21 having a baseline CT scan to use in that close monitoring which revealed a blip in expectations
• May 29 being told that the blip meant a needle biopsy and that the results of that could warrant a change in plans
• June 1, after recovering slowly but surely, returning to my job that I thoroughly enjoy, do well, and am appreciated and enjoyed at, where I work with adorable, wonderful, smart, kind human beings who care about not only themselves and their families, but also about our community and its citizens
• June 1 through June 23, striving to eat right and walk more
• June 17 having a needle biopsy to get a closer look at the blip seen on the CT scan
• June 18 getting a call about what turned out to be tissues suspicious for cancer in the blip and agreeing to have an appointment at 2 p.m. the next day with Dr. Steiner and tentatively to have a second operation on June 25, realizing at that very moment that I'd need to spend what I thought would be each of the three days at the beginning of the week before the surgery on Thursday training someone at work to do what I do that no one else does
• June 19 spending two hours engulfed in a whirlwind of information with Dr. Steiner and Lamont during which we discussed so much that I felt like I'd been on a twirly, swirly ride at the state fair, plus finding out that I would not be at work on June 24 because I would be involved with clear liquids and a laxative to get ready for the surgery the next day AND that it looks rather certain that radiation and chemotherapy are also in my future
• June 22 and June 23 sharing with a quick, smart young man at work who paid great attention to everything about the job he will do for me until I return, set for August 10 right now, and realizing that I have nothing to worry about because he will do it well, along with the help of others at work who know parts of the process; we in the admin area support each other wholeheartedly because we realize without a doubt that what we do supports those who directly serve the citizens of our community
• June 24 following all directions to the letter for the pre-op routines, including patting myself all over one hour after I had showered and washed my hair with these man-made tissues saturated with antiseptic to help my skin be as ready as possible to be invaded during surgery and not have on it as the incisions were made something bad for my health
• June 24 and June 25 going without solid food, period, but still managing to enjoy Jell-O and Popsicles and Twinings English Breakfast tea
• June 25 being prepped for surgery by swell women and men, then being rolled into the operating room where I saw the robot and the station where Dr. Steiner would sit to guide the robot through its paces with me--that robot is all arms, y'all, multi-functional arms, no doubt; then eventually looking toward the window of my hospital room and realizing my sons were there in silhouette along with my friend Sharon from work. The best thing, I never even knew that scary-panic-inducing oxygen mask from the hysterectomy was any where near me!
• June 25, at some point late after the surgery and the recovery room, when I had come to enough to ask for them and hold them and eat them, I enjoyed more Popsicles and Jell-o in my room
• June 26, about 2:30 a.m., although who knows for certain since my grasp of time within my memory is skewed right now, learning from my nurse how to use the computerized Order Food link on the touch screen hanging in front of me so that I could order breakfast from the regular diet menu, and a morning snack and lunch, an afternoon snack and dinner (although I call this supper)
• June 26 eating what I could of what I'd chosen
• June 26 being able to get up and go to the bathroom once the catheter had been removed and sit in the chair instead of the bed
• June 26 once I stood up off the bed realizing I'm pretty certain that I now know how folks who've been stabbed in the abdomen must feel the day after having their wounds stitched shut and being so thankful for Ibuprofen 600
• June 26 talking with one of Dr. Steiner's partners who said the main thing now is to get to the point that I can empty my own bladder the way that the Good Lord intended so that I wouldn't have to learn how to self-cath at home! and to recover from the surgery! and to learn at the post-op appointment on July 8 what the pathology reveals and what the plan of action includes, such as radiation and chemotherapy.
• June 26 walking the triangle outside my door which is the convenient shape of the hallway in the surgery patient area; I had a walker with wheels on its two front legs which I held onto, tilted, and rolled in front of me; I didn't like how it vibrated into my hands if I kept the wheel-less back legs on the floor
• June 26 finally drinking enough water to get myself back to normal operation in the bathroom, hallelujah! I don't have to learn how to self-cath!
• June 26 learning from one of the multitude of fabulous nurses that I now for the next 14 days will have to give myself a shot in the stomach to ward off the possibility of deep vein thrombosis and/or pulmonary embolism
• June 26 waiting for the wheelchair to take me to the door so that I could go home. 
• June 26 and until July 8, it looks like: Lamont explained to me yesterday, more than once, and Leland just explained to me again that Dr. Steiner said this to the two of them in the consultation room after the surgery was completed: The pathology tests have to be run so that the results will be known once they are complete. It's won't be something that she wants to discuss over the phone, that she wants me in the office with her to go over it, that if an earlier appointment opens up, they will let me know. She'd left markers inside me so that radiation oncology would know where to point whatever, that what she found inside me was somewhat unexpected - it wasn't in or attached to the lymph node as she had expected so this is throwing up flags to her that we should go ahead with radiation and chemo and what was going on with me wasn't following the statistics of normal, whatever that means. I believe that hearing the news straight from Dr. Steiner is best because I can look her in the eye and process what she's telling me.

Yes, that's the unnatural order of things. But, and I truly believe this, woven into it, through its shock, pain, aggravation, are-you-kidding-me moments are the some of the most sublime natural order of things I've witnessed in my entire life.

• My sons Lamont and Leland and their caring, sweet smiles, their loving hearts, their great memories for details, their patience to explain the same thing to me over and over again because I'm confused right now; the way every single day they live the evidence of their monumental Daddy right in front of me.
• My family and friends contacting me by myriad means, letting me know from their hearts how much they love me and care about what's going on with me and how much they are praying for the best possible outcome. 
• Yes, Gunn in Stavanger, Norway, I had surely done at each opportunity what you wrote in your comment on yesterday's post: You must tell your doctors and nurses that you have people ALL OVER THE WORLD who follow you and your blog, and we pray, wish you the best treatment and that they have to do their very best!!
• My awe-inspiring medical professionals whose every desire is for me to have the best outcome possible, be that from surgery, pain pills, walking the hallway, understanding what's going on with my treatment, why I have to do all of these things to myself. Best explanation for all that I'm going through, period, from Naomi, Dr. Steiner's nurse, on June 19 as we wrapped up the pre-op appointment for my second surgery within a two-months-one-day-time-period: We are about getting you the decades that I have coming to you, Lynette.
• My heart and soul have felt every single prayer, every single warm wish, every single bit of love and concern that all of you have for me and what I'm experiencing. And I thank you.