The best stamps I ever bought!

Celebrate, y'all! I got an unexpected phone call from Dr. Johnson last night--he's my oncology radiologist. Unexpected because although I'd had a follow-up CT scan on Monday, my appointment with him is not until next Thursday, May 12.

So, I answered the phone thinking, this is it. I'm gonna find out that I need to come back in for more tests. Why else would I get a call a week before the appointment?

Wrong! The news he gave me: No abnormalities revealed on the CT scan; I'm calling to let you know so that you'll have a great weekend; see you next Thursday!

Thank you for your continued prayers, love, and concern. Y'all are the best!

Speaking of the best, I had already asked Lamont and Leland to join me at the Blue Diamond for nachos on Cinco de Mayo, so I was able to give them this good news in person, complete with celebratory toasts, hugs, smiles, pats, you name it.

Oh, I have to tell you that I bought those stamps Monday on my way back to work from the CT scan. I intended to save them for when the Portland Trail Blazers win a game in the NBA playoffs, second round. I believe they fit this situation perfectly!

City Daily Photo Theme Day - Shelter, it's more important to me than ever while in treatment for cancer

It's a great day in the City Daily Photo realm. We invite you to join us! Click here to see Theme Day posts from around the world.



In a few hours I will be at the Oncology Center undergoing Chemo Round Four of the six prescribed for me. Since this journey into my new normal began in early March, the love of my two sons for me--Lamont on the left and Leland on the right in this photo that I took on January 7, 2012, one year to the day after my little Mama had died--has been the place to go in my mind, in my heart, and in person whenever I needed to be sheltered from the reality of my new normal. And that's important to me.

These two little boys who have grown into men who comfortably draw me in physically, up against their chests, holding me tight with their strong arms, murmuring their love for me until we let go and smile at each other before going in for one more hug before we part. Lamont and Leland, their father's two boys. I love them so. And that's important to me.

Lamont and Leland who have looked at me with their beautiful eyes and smiled at my bald head and my thinning eyebrows and eyelashes and answered me in a most believable way when asked. Told me that I look fine, that I look good, that that hat doesn't work. Told me so that I know I still look like their Mom to them, no matter what. And that's important to me.

Lamont and Leland who have taken my grocery lists to Fred Meyer, called or texted me photos from there to make certain the right items ended up in the cart. Since late June, they each have even endured a slow-moving visit to Fred Meyer when I felt like I needed to go with them, to hold onto the grocery cart and shop for some new earrings in addition to grocery staples and cravings for me. And that's important to me.

Lamont and Leland who have walked with me back and forth to the Blue Diamond for food and fellowship or have taken me in their cars to satisfy other food cravings to Killer Burger or Burgerville or Cha Cha Cha or Bijou Cafe or 3 Doors Down Cafe for those same reasons. Sometimes to places to be together out and about for a good time. So that I could enjoy riding along, looking out the window, feeling the fine Portland breeze, being out of my apartment and with one or both of them. And that's important to me.

Lamont and Leland, who with beloved friends, took my place in April when my Portland Trail Blazers played two home games in the first round of the NBA Finals, one loss, one win. Whichever son was at the game texted me photos of the good time had by all in that huge crowd of hopeful fans--the other son watched with me at home on TV. Those same sons and beloved friends took my place at a Portland Thorns NWSL soccer victory in August (a Portland Trail Blazer season ticket holder perk) and texted me fine photos from there, too. And that's important to me.

Lamont and Leland who have helped rein in my occasional ramblings and/or wonderings about not only the cancer, but also the two surgeries when the cancer quickly came back two months after we thought it was all gone, the chemo, the upcoming radiation, the slight changes in my currently part time work schedule and my successfully riding the bus and streetcar there and back, but also about my dealings with a short term disability insurance employee when I finally revealed to them her total ineptitude* once I got over the shock of it and could spell it out to them. And that's important to me.

Lamont and Leland, who as far as I can tell have believed me from the get-go when I have said that this cancer is not going to kill me; that my expectation is to be cured, that my positive attitude is as great a weapon as the medical ones I readily subject myself to endure. The cancer has changed my life, sure, but I'm in treatment for the cure. And that is most important to me.

Merriam-Webster says this about shelter, a position or the state of being covered and protected. I say this about shelter, that my sons provide it for me as if it were second nature, about which Merriam Webster says this, an acquired deeply ingrained habit or skill. Thank you, Lamont and Leland, for becoming the men you are today, who wear your second nature so lovingly.

While my City Daily Photo Theme Day post focuses on my sons, I shall not leave out for a single second the cover and protection in my new normal provided by each of you who continue to pray for me, for us, for my caregivers. I am grateful for your love and concern from afar as well as for the help provided by those of you in Portland. I love y'all and and thankful for y'all.

*She had my claim connected to the wrong policy the whole time and incorrectly told me that my going back to work part time would not impact the receipt of my short term disability benefits. Thankfully, she got it explained to her about the mess she was making in time to correct it before I ended up owing money to the short term disability insurance company from benefits she might have approved and released in error.

A Current Monday Morning Photo!

I took this photo a little while ago with my iPhone 5 so that I could have something current on here! Lamont and Leland's friends Lance and Kendra gave me this superb wall hanging and a couple of other nice items on Saturday, by way of Leland, I think--I was still groggy when I got home from the hospital. Thanks, you two! Congrats on the baby on the way!

I slept fine last night, even with a couple of short naps during the day, woke up at 6 a.m. hungry. Ate a little bit of oatmeal. No pain medication needed--hallelujah! Took a shower without any consequence other than being clean. Decided I wanted some hot tea, thus the photo opportunity. I got that wonderful mug some months ago at the Goodwill Super Store near where I work, walked down there on my lunch hour one day. What a fantastic find for a fan like me!

Lamont and Leland took turns being here yesterday, with some overlap for super hero movies on FX; I watched and/or dozed and thoroughly enjoyed peeking at my sweet sons, all day long. Lamont spent the night and just left to go to work for a few hours. He'll be back later before he needs to head home to get ready to go to the Blazers' vs the Grizzlies game this evening. Leland will come here after he gets off work and stay throughout the basketball game which we desperately need to win. Go, Blazers!

Later on I'll eat some of the baked chicken Lamont got off the bone for me--Leland picked it up at Fred Meyer on Saturday at Freddie's, along with a few other items. I've been eating it with plain rice, but yesterday I asked Leland to buy some russet potatoes and carrots which Lamont has scrubbed, wrapped in foil, put onto the cookie sheet and placed in the oven for baking. I'll check on them after the timer goes off. They will go very well with the baked chicken. By tomorrow, I should be able to eat something like a hamburger from The Blue Diamond! They've said they will deliver to me! And some folks from work put some funds on the books there, in my name, for just that purpose. Thanks, y'all!

Unless something unexpected happens during the day, I shall be A-OK by myself tonight and in the morning. Today, when I feel like I need a nap, I'll take one. No over-doing it for me, period. I'll wait until one of the sons is here to walk a short distance in the hallway of the apartment building. It is supposed to be 77 here today. Maybe I'll go, with help and support, out the front door onto the sidewalk in the sunshine! I promise, no over-doing it for me, so do not be alarmed at my maybe.

Thanks for your continued prayers and concern and love. We don't expect any biopsy news until late this week, so, until then, no news is good news!

Love Spalding.

First, I'm standing there with my iPhone, making a video and talking about how the tracks I'd made a few hours earlier had disappeared in the latest snowfall. Then, my phone rang--my brother and sister-in-law in central Mississippi wondering how I was making it in the snowy conditions, laughing when I said that I was out walking in the snow for fun. Finally, I notice this lady skiing along the sidewalk across the street. By the time I asked my brother to hold on, found the camera on the phone and held it up to take a photo, she had turned left on NE 20th Avenue. My brother and I continued our conversation, said good-bye, and I continued my walk around the block. When I got around the corner, I found a spot out of the wind and beneath a small overhang at the front door of the Sandy Blvd. Clinic, cropped and uploaded the image to Facebook. I figured that would it for the serendipitous sighting of a skier on the snowy sidewalk. Oh, before I forget, more serendipity in the matching colors of the car, the band on the Musicians Union building and the compatibility of the color of the skier's jacket and the rest of the wall color on the building. I love it when unexpected color combinations reach out and grab me.
 

Later that evening, cabin fever appeared again--it had been coming and going since I got home from work on Friday. Anyway, I decided to walk downstairs and look out the window in the side door of my building. My reward, one more serendipitous sighting of ski accoutrement. Left to right: ski poles, ski pants, skis. The icing on the cake, so to speak, the LOVE hanging on the apartment door, put there no doubt for Valentine's Day. I'm guessing that the word describes very well how the two skiers felt about their outing, skiing the neighborhood and beyond. The green door to the left served as their portal to the winter wonderland that Portland had become, beginning on Thursday around noon and continuing until around 4 p.m. on Saturday when the only thing falling from the sky was either freezing rain or sleet or both.

Mama passed away yesterday afternoon.

She got exactly what she wanted, to lie down on her bed, fall asleep and never wake up. I found her when I came home from work, after having talked with her at 2 p.m. I often talked to her on the ride home on the bus, so I called her phone several times yesterday. When I didn't get her, I truly had a feeling that this was it, that she wasn't just in her recliner watching the Trail Blazers play Minnesota, her cellphone still in the bedroom. I told myself to plan exactly how I would react as I came through the door which has really helped me to hold myself together through the rest of last night and so far today. I've been crying, of course, but also I've been rejoicing that she is now with Daddy, my husband LeRoy, her parents, all the rest of her loved ones, and our little dachshund Duncan.

The photo I have here is my favorite that I managed to take of her after we had moved to Portland. For me it shows Mama at her best, looking up in curiosity about what's next. She lived her life as all of us should endeavor to, as a decent human being who loved her family and friends with a mighty love.

Thanks to each and every one of you for taking her into your lives.

The look of love

Tuesday evening I looked up from the computer when Mama said, "Look where Duncan has his head now." The camera sat right beside the computer, so I quickly got this first photograph as Mama talked to the little ol' man. I can't tell you how many times he has looked up at her like this over the years, his sweet little head resting on her arm. I guess he heard the camera because he looked at me, so I asked Mama to look at me and smile.

Even with the dimness of available light making them not so clear and crisp, I just love these two photos.